we never talk about this part. lately i have been living life. it's a different pace than anything else, isn't it? behind a computer everything is at the speed of a billion conversations, millions of people flashing pictures and noises and words - and we are all merely pixels on a screen, nothing more than indiscriminate fillers of a cosmic void. now take a step back, i recommend it. remember that the music was not consuming you whole. remember that you are you, flesh and blood, sitting in one physical plane, surrounded by other things that are just as three-dimensional and probably just as stationary. is someone in your vicinity to breathe your same air? reconsider your relationship to that individual on practical terms. get the perspective of your dog, or if you're me, your goldfish. ...he or she is just a human. everything happens one second at a time, whether you're ready for it or not - whether your seconds are the speed of a billion conversations or not. the clock ticks no slower or faster for you. this is actually living - this is sand in the toes, coffee in the mug, wind through the window, and - well. you know. whatever. it's life.

this speed of life is different when you have this music blog. suddenly the hunger isn't burning as brightly or as deeply in the chest as it had been. suddenly there's more than opening packages of promos, checking email, catching the right notes at the right time to say: "ah, now this deserves a post." deserves a what? deserves your time. it doesn't warrant those same inconsequential pixels on the screen that smack of transient importance and very momentary satisfaction. i do not mean, of course, popular staying power; that has often meant nothing to me in the face of good music. possibly one of my favorite bands of all time are Trashcan Sinatras, out of Scotland, who had a few singles in the early nineties alternative scene, but is otherwise unknown and continues to make incredible music. what does that mean, though? nothing. regardless of noble intent, there are posts i make without looking back, artists i touch upon that do not get their fair time. there are certain artists whose names breathe current pitchfork or blogger success (Viva Voce, Ratatat, Junior Boys, Midlake) - but i have yet to post on them. why? because no one can do it all. because i realize that if i'd had this blog in 2004, i probably would have had to post on Neutral Milk Hotel and The Arcade Fire regularly, even though - yes! i'll admit it! - i've never liked them.

we work so hard to convey our opinions as honestly as we possibly can. but without a certain audience, without that hunger burning - time still ticks the same way: we are still just pawns in the game. the music will always be bigger than the bloggers. and if some day, by some catastrophe, we reverse that order... i know we will have failed.  shan  10:44 AM  |  view comments (2)